Thanks

As I am waiting for socks to dry (they take too long..)


I thought I would do what I promised my mum yesterday I would do, but never got round to doing it; because alcohol tastes too good!
   Here is a thank you to her, and recognition for how much of an amazing mother, role model, friend and father she has been for me. Yes I said father because before she met my dad, she was like a father figure to me as well. She is just a sweet transvestite =P


    My mum has been through so much recently. Too much for me to fully understand. But yet she has remained strong and always put on a brave face for everyone. Even after her mother died she went straight back into work, and remained positive in front of others. She isn't one of these people you see on the Jeremy Kyle show who resort to drink and drugs after a loss of a loved one, she isn't stupid that way. 


   Without her I don't know what I would be doing today. Two days without a call from her drives me crazy because I love talking with her, and hearing her disgusting ways, "I think I'll go for a poo, talk to you later"  .. yeah she is going to kill me for that! hahahaha! 
  But anyway, even with failed marriages and relationships; she never let any new man get in the way of her love for her children. She begged and paid my biological sperm donor to take me out swimming, or to the movies; anything that wasn't at his recent girlfriends house. She was the one that begged me to call him and see him, even though I didn't want to. 


   As well as being an amazing mother, she is a great grandmother. That is all I am going to say on that matter. Katie is lucky to have you. 


  She may drive me up the wall half the time, but that is only because we are so much a like. If I was to be like anyone, I am glad it is my mum. I would love to be as beautiful, intelligent, funny, and as strong as she is. 

   With her past experiences she gives me support and guidance on the things I should do in life. She has supported me through out everything, even if I am still trying to find my way. She doesn't judge me on the choices I make, she just lets me learn from my mistakes. She was the one that picked me up when I fell hard, she was the one that kissed my tears away. 
   I would die for you and I would die without you. I can not understand how you have managed without granny, because I wouldn't be able to cope without you. I need your rational mind to calm my irrational thinking. You keep me happy, and for that I thank you.


I love you mum! =D 


x

Every Little Ramble Helps: It's Almost Christmas!

Every Little Ramble Helps: It's Almost Christmas!: WHERE IS MY SNOW!?! With Christmas you usually get snow, right? Well this year, apparently, we aren't actually getting any. If you're a d...

It's Almost Christmas!

WHERE IS MY SNOW!?! 

With Christmas you usually get snow, right?  Well this year, apparently, we aren't actually getting any. If you're a driver, you are probably over joyed after the horrors of last year. But for the children like me, I am extremely saddened because.. I like snow and I like wearing my wellies and red jeans! 

My mum asked me what I wanted for Christmas.. 

   For the first time ever I actually don't want anything. Heck there are things I need like, maybe an iPod? But.. I actually don't want anything. I do not feel the need for materialistic things, for a change. I don't know why, but ever since I have moved to Aberdeen I do not see the need in shopping continuously like I used to when I lived with my folks. I have only, ever, bought myself one thing whilst living in Aberdeen and that was a pretty red dress <3 

   Am I a changed individual?  Highly doubt it. The problem is I have so many things on my mind that I can not contemplate buying things I do not need. 

  You really want to know what I want for Christmas? A time machine. I want to go back to 2010, spend all the time in the world with my gran, change a few things over and then be happy...

   I am usually 90% of the time cheerful, but I'm not actually happy. Everyday I get a stabbing feeling in my chest. Once it got so bad I was bent over in agony at work. Why? I don't know but my mum is begging me to go to the doctors. 

   I have a feeling something is missing in my life right now. I know what it is, so no need to try and guess. What is sad, is that I tried to fill this void with a 17 year old boy and lots of alcohol, which in turn made me realise how stupid I was being and made me make a tough choice to move back home. 

  NO, I am not moving home because of him.. I am moving home because, sorry to say this (no I am not an attention seeking whore), I am depressed. I know I have no excuse to be since she was only my grandmother, but I do miss her, and I regret many of the choices I made. That isn't the only thing which is getting me down. 

   The past seems to come back at the most inappropriate times. So then, you guys know the man who has been raising me for 8 years, isn't actually my biological dad? Well he is my dad! So if some asshole decides he wants contact with me after 8 years of neglect, can go and jog on!   How dare he try and mentally torture me? I was doing fine until he tried to get in contact with me. He only wanted me as a child to try and pull women. He even made me ask my primary school secretary out on a date for him. Humiliating? Yes... 

   He mentally abused my mum and physically abused my brother. He disowned me when I was only 15 when I was crying out for a relationship. Well guess what? His fault! I have the most amazing father in the world, who supports me through-out everything. I worship the ground that man walks on. When I choose to get married, it will be him that walks me down the isle, it will be him that holds my first born, it will be him that I die for. Guess what (if my future husband agrees to this), I will have my first born son named after him, because Colin Shipton is the greatest man alive, and he is the greatest thing that has happened to my mother and I. I do not know how to thank him enough, nor do I know what I would do without him. He has saved me so many times. To him I am his daughter, and he shows me what love truly is. I never knew a father's love until I met him. 

   Anyway enough of this tear fest ... on my part. 

  Season of good will!   Remember that family time isn't only of Christmas day but it should be everyday!  

   Also.. there is no such thing as Jesus, or a God.. so I celebrate Christmas as a season of goodwill, and a day of thanks. A day of remembrance. A day of forgiveness, to those who deserve it. 

Wish you guys a happy new year!  Hopefully 2012 is good to you. 

Hopefully it doesn't actually bring the end of the world.